Missionary Girlfriend Problems: Q & A

So lately I have been receiving a lot of emails, comments, and messages with different questions from girls in different circumstances. Some of you are biting your nails as you count down the days till your sweetheart leaves. Some of you are staring at your clock, counting down the seconds, because your elder only has weeks till he comes home to you. Some of you (like me) are stuck somewhere in the middle. Some of you are going to be serving missions. Some of you are going to college. Some of you are still in high school. And some of you don't share the same belief as your elder.

Whatever your circumstances may be. I assure you it is hard for all of us. No one quite gets the pain of watching your roommates go out on dates, never having any one to text, crying yourself to sleep because you just wish he was there to tuck you in, frantically anticipating that weekly email, and becoming best friends with your local post office.

Being a missionary girlfriend is lonely a lot of the time. My best friends would never let me complain about me missing my elder because I "chose this life." I just wanted to scream in their faces every time like "WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU MET YOUR HUSBAND AND HE HAD TO LEAVE YOU FOR TWO YEARS IN ORDER FOR YOU TO GET MARRIED!? HUH!?" But instead I just shut my mouth and decided to suffer in silence because no matter how much I would try to explain it to them, I knew they would never get it.

Ladies, we don't have to be alone. We all know what it is like crying when you get a letter, not so secretly planning your wedding on Pinterest, keeping a countdown on your wall, and stressing over stupid stuff "like what if he meets his wife on his mission" K. No. Not going to happen. We just get what it is like to be a missionary girlfriend. So let's unite together and comfort each other during this journey. We are all children of the same Heavenly Father and I see no need for us to be strangers any longer. BRING ON THE FRIENDSHIP!

K. Now down to business.

Q & A with Caa:

Q: My elder is leaving soon, what should I give him before he leaves on his mission?
A: Okay ladies, you want to give your elder things he will see every day. That way he will always have a little reminder of you. I'll keep the list simple-
Book of Mormon with your testimony written in it
Tie & Tie Clip he can wear often
A wallet sized picture of you that he can show off to people
Type out one of his favorite scriptures and print it out and put it in a frame
Give him a journal that says "For the times when you need someone to talk to" this way he will be able to write down all his thoughts and maybe one day you can read them all
Give him your favorite picture of you two and frame it (make it personal)
Oh and don't forget to have a photo shoot with him before he leaves. YOU WON'T REGRET IT!

Q: My elder hasn't been writing me every week, should I be worried?
A: No. My elder hasn't written me a hand written letter for like months haha. It is just easier for him to email, so we do that. Your elder has many responsibility that we don't even think about. Sometimes finding time to write can be tough. Don't worry, keep writing :)

Q: How do you find time to send cute packages?
A: Good question. Honestly, I don't really know haha. Last semester I was a full-time student and this semester I work full-time. Every time I come home I just want to sleep. But I find joy in making little crafts for my elder. I often make packages and cute letters on days that I have off or on Sundays. Also, I work on packages for weeks before I want to send them, that way I have time to figure out new ideas and am not rushing myself before the send date.

Q: My missionary is coming home, what should I give him?
A: K. I hate you. So jealous right now. I would give him a cute little picture booklet that catches him up on what you have been doing for the last two years. "Since You've Been Gone." Fill it with pictures and descriptions. This way he will feel like he hasn't missed any time at all. And at the end of the booklet I would create a list of thing to do with him now: "The Past Two Years Were Great, But I'm Ready For A Date." Also, give him a hug and kiss. You have a lot of time to make up for!

Q: My missionary's parents don't take me seriously. What should I do?
A: Prove them wrong. Stick around and show them you are serious. Be a sweetheart. Get to know them, hang out with them, and talk to them often. This takes time, but they will come around even if it takes two years and a wedding. They will get that you are seriously in love with their son.

Q: What should I do to get my mind off of missing him?
A: Something that I have learned is that you don't have to stop missing your elder to be happy. These next two years aren't about distracting yourself as much as possible so you can "get by." Embrace this time you have to get to know each other even more and to get know yourself. To help you cope with this shock of being away from your elder lean on those who love you. Remember those friends you use to hang out with? And your family that lives with you? These people aren't complete strangers. They love you and want to be there for you. Trust me. Also another thing I like to do is go to places I use to go with my elder, eat the food we use to eat together, listen to our songs, and look through pictures. This isn't something to run away from ladies. THIS IS REALITY.

Q: How often do you send letters? And packages?
A: Okay well.... when I was a better girlfriend haha I used to send like 3 letters a week and a package every month. But I got more and more busy with school and now work. So I send about a letter a week, if he is lucky two. And then I send packages still about every month or every 6 weeks. Basically anytime there is a special event coming up (anniversary, birthday, mission mark, holidays, etc) I send a package. I think it is important to send a letter every week and then packages whenever you can. Your elder will appreciate what ever and whenever you send something :)

Q: How do you stay so positive?
A: Oh if only you could see me on the days I eat a tub of ice cream to suffocate my tears. Being a missionary girlfriend is NOT EASY. Like "Hi, I'm Carly. I'm in love with my best friend and want to marry him, but I can't see him for the next two years. Oh and did I mention we can't call...or text...or visit each other...but I'm going to wait for him." AM I CRAZY? Apparently I am. However, something I have learned is that positivity is a choice. If I wanted to, I could cry every single day for the next two years. But I won't because I am happy and I know I've been blessed to have met my sweetheart so early in my life. Positivity comes through getting to know your Savior and that HE understands you. It comes through constantly choosing to see the good in every thing and every one. It comes through faith in God and His plan for you. And it comes through counting your blessings each and every day. "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

I know life is full of trials and questions ladies.

I can not answer every question & relieve every burden.

But their is some one who can and that is Jesus Christ.

He can get you through anything and He will answer any question you have.

I promise you that.

I love you ladies & the Lord loves you.

More Q & As coming soon! Feel free to email me or leave a comment with your questions!

Stay Positive my loves, Make a new mg friend, and remember:

KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON

xoxo

Carly

Dear Sister Upton

You are hear by called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in...

Welp, I received my mission call this week! And I was SO NERVOUS.

Called to Serve: Mission Call Opening! from Carly Upton on Vimeo.

Pictures to prove it!

I could not be more excited to serve and preach the gospel to my brothers and sisters in Santiago Chile! Bring on the Chileans! It is so wonderful to know that my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and truly has called me to serve. I love Him and I love my Savior. I know He lives. He is the way and I can't wait to bring others closer to Him.


Keep Calm and Preach On!

This call was definitely worth the wait.
The Lord blesses us for our patience :)


KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON LADIES.
I love you all to the moon and back!


xoxo

Hermana Upton 

Happy National Penny Day!

Today is mine and Taylor's 18 month anniversary!
You know what that means: PACKAGE TIME

This week I will be posting a Craft of the Week video on the package I am sending him.
But back to the purpose of this post!


Taylor and I believe in celebrating every day, so we do:
http://web.archive.org/web/20110713233224/http://www.louderbacks.com/home/dict/days.html

Today is Nation Penny Day, which is super cool because my promise ring is made out of a penny:

The Ring

I'm not a diamond kind of girl. I love simplicity and that's why this ring is so perfect. About two years ago Taylor took me to a railroad track and we laid two pennies on the track. He told me to make a wish as the train went by; he was my wish. Little did I know, a year and a half later he would give me that same penny as a promise ring. He is just perfect.



So to thank my best friend for being the man of my dreams and my rock for the past year and a half, I created an anniversary video:

 We aren't your typical couple.

Happy Anniversary T! from Carly Upton on Vimeo.

I love you T!

Being separated has never been easy...

How we have made it work:

We rely on the Lord
We are always honest with each other
We keep an eternal perspective
We stay obedient
We express our love for each other every opportunity we get



Time will always go by, its guaranteed that these two years WILL pass.
However, it is not guaranteed that these two years will be a special experience for you and your missionary.
That ladies is OUR job. To find these special moments where you and your elder can grow together.
This doesn't have to be as depressing as it seems.
There is a light at the end of every tunnel.
Don't wait two years to find that light.




Thanks for always listening ladies!


Another post will be up soon :)





Have a wonderful week and remember:



KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON






xoxo

Carly

The Book of Mormon Challenge

Okay. So I know my posts have not been exactly missionary girlfriend related lately, but don't worry. I have lots coming soon!

Now for the challenge.
A girl named Alisha Straatman that is part of the "Many are called....but few are sisters" Facebook page challenged all of us to take a picture of our Book of Mormon and post it on our instagram with the hash tag #bookofmormon
Since a lot of the posts with that hash tag are about the play, she thought it would be a good idea for us to flood instagram with the real thing!

 

"Now, my good Saints, we have a great work to perform in a very short time. We must flood the earth with the Book of Mormon—and get out from under God’s condemnation for having treated it lightly."

 -President Ezra Taft Benson

Let's start a flood ;)


xoxo

Caa

Zach Sobiech Changed My Life

This young man is such an example to me of what a true disciple of Christ lives like.
Death is not a burden, but a small chapter in our lives.
How grateful I am for the knowledge of eternal life and the blessings of temples.
Let us not forget how blessed we are to have the ones we love so dearly alive and well.

My heart goes out to his darling family

His closest friends

And the love of his life

May your heart rest in Paradise. I can't wait to meet you one day.

Got My Mission Call: SYKE!

Welp, you could imagine my anticipation Friday morning as I skipped over to the mail box, slowly opened it up for dramatic effect, looked inside and there was NO CALL! Just a bunch of advertisements.

Huge let down.

No need to fret though, I should be expecting my mission call THIS Friday :)
Many people asked me if I was like devastated it didn't come...uhm no haha. Yeah it would have been convenient to get my call on Friday, but I'm getting a mission call! That is all that matters to me!

Heavenly Father likes to teach me patience constantly so I should have seen this one coming. I think I handled the situation pretty well. No tears. No bitter feelings. No anxiety. Usually I'm a total mess because let's face it I'm kind of a control freak. Just smiles :)

Because even if I had to wait a month I would still be happy.
I'M GOING ON A MISSION! The fact that I am going is a miracle all on its own.

The Lord blesses us for our devotion, patience, and postivity.
Satan is going to throw MANY MANY trials in our way, but with the help of Christ we can conquer anything.

I love this Gospel.

Being a missionary girlfriend is hard too. To quote Maroon 5 "its not always rainbows and butterflies." And sometimes Satan likes to fill our heads with doubts, fears, and questions. Sometimes they are reasonable and sometimes they are irrational. Either way, learn to recognize where these questions are coming from. For me I'm usually in a bad mood or depressed or mad or PMSing (it happens).

I've never had a serious doubt when I've been praying and studying my scriptures and been in tune with the Spirit. This takes patience ladies. Its not always easy. But our Savior understands and He will help us if we turn to Him.



Have a great week ladies!

Remember:


KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON



xoxo

Carly

 

Things that happen when you can't fall asleep...

So I am wide awake right now as I anticipate tomorrow morning...
My mission call will be in my mail box.
I will hold a piece of paper in my hand that will tell me where I am going to be for the next 18 months of my life. Who could sleep with that kind of information floating around somewhere!!!!! NOT ME.

I decided to create this blog post to tell you some things I do when I can't fall asleep.

Look through old pictures
Find embarrassing videos of myself
Stalk blogs
Write annoying songs
Annoy people via text message

Here is what I have come up with so far:



Disneyland in 7th grade...the rough years.



Valencia Prom 2012 when Taylor made me fall on my face. I miss him :(



Morp 2011 with my bestfriend



Walmart scavenger hunt date with my love :) One of our first dates!



My CTR ring :)



When Taylor realized how blind I am...


THE EMBARRASSMENT:



wait this one is better



I looked through just about every post in:

http://laurenwinburn.blogspot.com/
http://michonjennings.blogspot.com/
http://watchmariasew.blogspot.com/
http://www.somethingdevineblog.com/
http://thoughtsofamissionarygirlfriend.blogspot.com/


Don't ever let me record an album... Just imagine me screaming this

The ducks in the pond go quack quack quack
The birds in the trees go chirp chirp chirp
The cows in the field go smack smack smack
And I'm sitting here going BLURP BLURP BLURP


This is probably why everyone I'm trying to annoy via text won't respond to me...whatevs. Over it.


Oh and if you're bored like me, you should check out mine and my best friend's combined blog: http://apartment504.wordpress.com/


Happy waiting,

You'd think I'd be use to it by now. WRONG.


xoxo
Caa

Craft of the Week: The Scrap Letter

I decided I am going to start a segment of my blog called, Craft of the Week.
Each week I will post the craft I am working on for my missionary.

This week I created a letter made out of an envelope, left over scrap booking paper, and some yarn.
Its easy to make and very cute! Because the video contains some personal info, I am making it private.

Email me for the password (carlycorrineupton@gmail.com):


Keep Calm & Wait On: The Scrap Letter from Carly Upton on Vimeo.



The Do's and Don'ts of Writing Missionaries!


Do

Share spiritual experiences
Give him updates on people's mission calls
Give him updates about their friends on missions
Share exciting moments in your life
Share how you have overcame trials
Write about your favorite scriptures/talks/lessons
Share the blessings you have received from his service
Tell him about investigators in your ward
Reply to ALL of his letters/emails (be detailed and give your opinion) whenever I do this, the Spirit always tells me what to say. It is a great way to feel like you are apart of their work.
BE YOURSELF. He loves you. And wants to hear from YOU. Put some personality in that letter.


Don't

Fight with them.
Judge them.
Chastise them (you aren't perfect either) There is a thin line between constructive criticism and chastising .
Complain about missing them so much. I know this is hard ladies, but it is hard for your missionary too. He is SO HOMESICK and complaining makes it worse for him. Its okay to be honest and tell them you miss them. They like to hear that. I'm not saying sugar coat everything and make it seem like "Happy Dandy Daisy Land." This is REALITY people. But still don't be depressing.
If you are dating other people...the is pretty much common sense but...don't tell him about all these amazing guys you are dating...AWKWARD ladies. Just awkward.
Write them because you "have" to. Write them because you want to and because you love them. No body wants a pity letter.
Break up with them by sending them a wedding announcement!!!!! Okay this is just cruel to me, your missionary deserves much more respect than that.


How to categorize your letters

I am a heading kind of girl. I like to section my letters off in the days of the week or the types of things I am talking about. Sometimes I do both. This is helpful when you have SO MUCH to catch him up on, but don't know how to do it. CATEGORIZE!

Days of the week
Spiritual v. Non spiritual
Friends, Family, and Those you are struggling with
School, Work, Church

I like to us cute headings like:
You've been called to... (then write about recent mission calls)
Guess What? (recent updates)
An apple a day (I have had a lot of health issues so I write about them a lot haha)
...You get the point


A cute challenge:

My missionary and I are starting to do this. We are picking a chapter in the Book of Mormon, reading it, and writing each other what our insights are. I miss having scripture study with my elder more than anything. This is going to be a nice way to be able to read separately, but share our insights together. This boy always receives some serious revelation for me. He always says exactly what I need to hear. Hopefully this will allow us to pump each other up! GO MISSIONARY WORK!


Well that is all for now,

Have a great week guys and please email me your pictures carlycorrineupton@yahoo.com or tag me on instagram @carlyupton if you use my idea for The Scrap Letter!


Love you ladies!
And remember:



Keep Calm and Wait on


xoxo
Caa

The Blessings Continue

Okay, I am so sorry I have abandoned all my missionary girlfriends out there!
This has been quite the week.

Updates:

* I got a job: YAY! This is why I have had no time to blog! Thank you Albertsons. I am the girl who cuts fruit all day long...kind of really boring. To keep myself entertained I sing my heart out to Taylor Swift songs and talk to the fruit I'm cutting. My employees are really going to like me.
Sarcasm 

* I GOT TO SKYPE TAYLOR! Ahhhhhhhh. Okay seriously the best moment of my entire life. I missed him so much and totally started crying while I was talking to him. I am so in love with him and am so incredibly lucky to have him in my life. He seriously makes me feel like the most important person in the world every time he talks to me. I love you baby!

"I feel like we got to hangout yesterday.  Like, in person.  It felt really good.(:  Not perfect, but really good.  (:  I needed that...You are so apart of my testimony, and help me keep it growing.  I'm so happy when I am able to talk about you when people ask me.  It's just another testimony of a good example of a righteous couple, following the ways of the Lord, and supporting each other through it all.
Goodness.  You're such a stud.  But for real, I am so in love.  I'm so happy that you want to serve a mission.  Love you so much, and working hard so we can start a family in less than two years!(: 
muahhhhhh
always your lion,
T Taw Kozy Bear"

K. He is perfect. And the most handsome boy in the world. And all mine :)


* I get my mission call on Friday! So stoked to find out where I will serve. Let me know if you guys want to watch me open my call! I can have you guys on google plus or somethin :) Post your guesses for where you think I will be going!

* Mine and Taylor's story was featured on www.theperksofwaiting.blogspot.com

* My best friend created a blog: http://happinessforemmalee.blogspot.com/
And made a video of all her friends. She is so cute. Watch it!



I'm the dork in the roller blades haha.



NOW FOR SOME BUSINESS

It has been brought to my attention that I have not posted a picture of Taylor and I together...

Ooops. 
I guess I got so carried away with the whole blogging thing I skipped a few steps haha.

So I decided I would do a little bio of each of us and then a bio on us together!

Elder Taylor Stefan Kozak 

Nick names: T, T Taw, Tboy, Kozy Bear

Eye color: Blue
Height: 5'10 (and three quarters)
Favorite color: Azure
Favorite animal: Lion 

Famous "Are you kidding me?" moment: Leaving the car running and unlocked while we went to shop in Sports Chalet....

Something you didn't know about him: He runs a totally free football camp for kids in his valley who can't afford it- Kozak Football Camp!

Least favorite foods: ALL DAIRY PRODUCTS!

What he wants to be when he grows up: A daddy

Sister Carly Corrine Upton

Nick names: Car, Caa, Carlypie, Carl

Eye color: Blue

Height: 5'9

Favorite color: Red

Favorite animal: Giraffe
Famous "Are you kidding me?" moment: "You can't boil hot water! Its bad for you!!" (not my brightest moment guys haha)
Something you didn't know about her: I'm a black belt in karate not kidding.
Least favorite foods: CREAM CHEESE & POP CORN! 
What she wants to be when she grows up: A mommy

Carly & Taylor

Started dating: April 2011

Anniversary: November 23, 2011

What we like to do: Cuddle, go on random adventures, surprise each other, embarrass each other in public, act weird REALLY WEIRD, make fun of each other, make up stories, read scriptures at the park, get crafty, kiss each other, and hold hands :)

We both: Won an award for being the most "Spirited" on our team. AKA we sat on the bench all year haha.

Our favorite foods: Sushi  and Mexican food

We find joy in: Lemonade

We disagree on: Almost everything, except for the fact that we are crazy in love with each other. And that Star Wars and Harry Potter are amazing.

We hope to: Serve our missions to our full compacity, get married to each other in the Los Angeles Temple, attend BYU together, buy a house, share a dingy old red truck, and start a family together.

We trust: In the Lord Jesus Christ, the love God has for all His children, and His restored Church on the Earth today.




I can't tell you how incredibly blessed I feel to be a missionary girlfriend. I get to be a special part of Taylor's journey. I always wonder where I'd be if I never met him. He has changed my life completely and is such an example to me. Everything I do, I ask myself how would Taylor handle this. He is the most Christlike person I have ever met and he keeps me going each and every day. Even from a state away I can feel his love for me and the love he has for our future family. I love him so much. I am so blessed that he has made the decision to serve and has pushed me to follow my desire to serve. He is my other half. Love you T! Muah!

K. I'm done haha ;) 

Thank again for taking the time to read my blog.

Please leave comments for any stories or questions you have. I want to be involved in all of your lives!

I will be posting a video later this week on letters.
Also next week I will be posting my mission call opening video!

Love all you guys and hope you have an amazing week!


And Remember:




KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON


xoxo Caa

Birthday Package Ideas

Keep Calm & Wait On: Birthday Packages from Carly Upton on Vimeo.

Mug Directions!
I used one mug instead of two :)

http://www.snhblog.com/2012/12/saw-it-pinned-it-did-it-this-mug-is.html


BOX DECORATION idea:

http://media-cache-ec4.pinimg.com/originals/0c/75/48/0c754815fe69584fe5942c0c896ca5a1.jpg
More to find on Pinterest!


MISSIONARY GIRLFRIENDS: Follow www.theperksofwaiting.blogspot.com & www.michonjennings.blogspot.com


Hailey Devine's Birthday Video:

Happy Birthday Bradley! from Hailey Haugen Devine on Vimeo.

Hope this weeks video was helpful!
Please let me know if you use any of my ideas :)
If you have more ideas please share them with us in a comment! Or message me and I will post your idea on my blog.

Have a wonderful week and remember:




KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON!


xoxo Caa

Dear Elder, Welcome to Tempe

Well ladies,

We all know how hard it is when our missionary first leaves:

The crying
Looking through old pictures
Watching old videos
Stalking their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc (even though you already know everything that's on it...)
The ugly crying
Listening to old voice mails 
Cuddling in their old T-shirts & hoodies 
Reading old text messages, Facebook messages, emails, and letters.
Figuring out what you're going to do every day without them
The ugly UGLY crying
The writing a million letters on DearElder.com
And hand writing letters
And mailing packages
And planning your entire wedding on Pinterest...
Mind you ALL of this is happening while your missionary is still in the MTC
Oh its going to be a LONG 2 years ladies.

If you haven't experienced this...don't worry, you will :)

But I promise that it DOES get better.

In spirit of this tutorial on a package I like to call "Welcome to Tempe"
I would like to dedicate this time to my fresh missionary girlfriends.
Here are some things I would have liked someone to tell me before & after my missionary left:

Before:

1. CALM DOWN, everything is going to be okay.
2. Enjoy the time you have with your missionary. 
3. Don't count the days, make the days count

After:

1. Buy yourself your favorite candy bar and a tub of ice cream.
2. Watch your favorite chick flick and get out all your tears.
3. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
4. Don't obsess over stupid stuff you wish you could change.
5. Take this time a part to discover who you are and who you want to become.
6. Work on your relationship with Christ, their is no one else who can get you through this.
7. Find the perks of being a missionary girlfriend.
8. Get a Pinterest
9. Set some goals for yourself.
10. Spend as much time as you can with your missionary's family. THIS HELPS SO MUCH!
11. Pray for missionaries in your ward, your missionary, and their investigators.
12. Write their companion. I've done this once and it was so awesome to get to know the guy my elder hangs out with every day! Make sure you write your missionary an extra letter so they don't get jealous ;)
13. Breathe and take a moment to remember all the blessings you have in your life.
14. Put God first. Everything else will work out.

Alright now for the package:

WELCOME TO TEMPE 


Keep Calm & Wait On: Welcome to Tempe from Carly Upton on Vimeo.

If you have a camera savvy friend like I do, ask them to take some pictures of you to send to your missionary. Here are the pictures I sent and put into a picture album for my missionary:

 

I also printed out pictures 8, 9, 10, and 11 in wallet size for me Elder to take with him to show off ;)

Remember: If you use any of my ideas please send me pictures! My email is carlycorrineupton@gmail.com

I would like to give another THANK YOU to my best friends who gave me a shout out on their twitter acount @OnlyMormons. If you have a twitter and would like some clean entertainment & some spiritual uplifting, go ahead and give them a follow! They are the bees knees.

I would also like to give a shout out to my new friends and fellow bloggers: http://theperksofwaiting.blogspot.com/ Check them out my fellow "Ladies in Waiting" :)

Have a fabulous week, write your missionary, and remember:

KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON!

Till next week,

xoxo Caa

Sister Carly Corrine Upton

Well everyone, it is official. My mission papers were submitted last night!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm freaking out. 

I could not be more excited to serve my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me along my journey.
A special thanks to:
My entire family especially my wonderful mother
The Kozak family
And my best friends Kaylee, Delaney, Emma, and Stevie.

I could not have done this with out all of your unconditional love and support.
Thank you everyone! 

LET'S GET READY TO SERVE PEOPLE!