Missionary Girlfriend Problems: Q & A

So lately I have been receiving a lot of emails, comments, and messages with different questions from girls in different circumstances. Some of you are biting your nails as you count down the days till your sweetheart leaves. Some of you are staring at your clock, counting down the seconds, because your elder only has weeks till he comes home to you. Some of you (like me) are stuck somewhere in the middle. Some of you are going to be serving missions. Some of you are going to college. Some of you are still in high school. And some of you don't share the same belief as your elder.

Whatever your circumstances may be. I assure you it is hard for all of us. No one quite gets the pain of watching your roommates go out on dates, never having any one to text, crying yourself to sleep because you just wish he was there to tuck you in, frantically anticipating that weekly email, and becoming best friends with your local post office.

Being a missionary girlfriend is lonely a lot of the time. My best friends would never let me complain about me missing my elder because I "chose this life." I just wanted to scream in their faces every time like "WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU MET YOUR HUSBAND AND HE HAD TO LEAVE YOU FOR TWO YEARS IN ORDER FOR YOU TO GET MARRIED!? HUH!?" But instead I just shut my mouth and decided to suffer in silence because no matter how much I would try to explain it to them, I knew they would never get it.

Ladies, we don't have to be alone. We all know what it is like crying when you get a letter, not so secretly planning your wedding on Pinterest, keeping a countdown on your wall, and stressing over stupid stuff "like what if he meets his wife on his mission" K. No. Not going to happen. We just get what it is like to be a missionary girlfriend. So let's unite together and comfort each other during this journey. We are all children of the same Heavenly Father and I see no need for us to be strangers any longer. BRING ON THE FRIENDSHIP!

K. Now down to business.

Q & A with Caa:

Q: My elder is leaving soon, what should I give him before he leaves on his mission?
A: Okay ladies, you want to give your elder things he will see every day. That way he will always have a little reminder of you. I'll keep the list simple-
Book of Mormon with your testimony written in it
Tie & Tie Clip he can wear often
A wallet sized picture of you that he can show off to people
Type out one of his favorite scriptures and print it out and put it in a frame
Give him a journal that says "For the times when you need someone to talk to" this way he will be able to write down all his thoughts and maybe one day you can read them all
Give him your favorite picture of you two and frame it (make it personal)
Oh and don't forget to have a photo shoot with him before he leaves. YOU WON'T REGRET IT!

Q: My elder hasn't been writing me every week, should I be worried?
A: No. My elder hasn't written me a hand written letter for like months haha. It is just easier for him to email, so we do that. Your elder has many responsibility that we don't even think about. Sometimes finding time to write can be tough. Don't worry, keep writing :)

Q: How do you find time to send cute packages?
A: Good question. Honestly, I don't really know haha. Last semester I was a full-time student and this semester I work full-time. Every time I come home I just want to sleep. But I find joy in making little crafts for my elder. I often make packages and cute letters on days that I have off or on Sundays. Also, I work on packages for weeks before I want to send them, that way I have time to figure out new ideas and am not rushing myself before the send date.

Q: My missionary is coming home, what should I give him?
A: K. I hate you. So jealous right now. I would give him a cute little picture booklet that catches him up on what you have been doing for the last two years. "Since You've Been Gone." Fill it with pictures and descriptions. This way he will feel like he hasn't missed any time at all. And at the end of the booklet I would create a list of thing to do with him now: "The Past Two Years Were Great, But I'm Ready For A Date." Also, give him a hug and kiss. You have a lot of time to make up for!

Q: My missionary's parents don't take me seriously. What should I do?
A: Prove them wrong. Stick around and show them you are serious. Be a sweetheart. Get to know them, hang out with them, and talk to them often. This takes time, but they will come around even if it takes two years and a wedding. They will get that you are seriously in love with their son.

Q: What should I do to get my mind off of missing him?
A: Something that I have learned is that you don't have to stop missing your elder to be happy. These next two years aren't about distracting yourself as much as possible so you can "get by." Embrace this time you have to get to know each other even more and to get know yourself. To help you cope with this shock of being away from your elder lean on those who love you. Remember those friends you use to hang out with? And your family that lives with you? These people aren't complete strangers. They love you and want to be there for you. Trust me. Also another thing I like to do is go to places I use to go with my elder, eat the food we use to eat together, listen to our songs, and look through pictures. This isn't something to run away from ladies. THIS IS REALITY.

Q: How often do you send letters? And packages?
A: Okay well.... when I was a better girlfriend haha I used to send like 3 letters a week and a package every month. But I got more and more busy with school and now work. So I send about a letter a week, if he is lucky two. And then I send packages still about every month or every 6 weeks. Basically anytime there is a special event coming up (anniversary, birthday, mission mark, holidays, etc) I send a package. I think it is important to send a letter every week and then packages whenever you can. Your elder will appreciate what ever and whenever you send something :)

Q: How do you stay so positive?
A: Oh if only you could see me on the days I eat a tub of ice cream to suffocate my tears. Being a missionary girlfriend is NOT EASY. Like "Hi, I'm Carly. I'm in love with my best friend and want to marry him, but I can't see him for the next two years. Oh and did I mention we can't call...or text...or visit each other...but I'm going to wait for him." AM I CRAZY? Apparently I am. However, something I have learned is that positivity is a choice. If I wanted to, I could cry every single day for the next two years. But I won't because I am happy and I know I've been blessed to have met my sweetheart so early in my life. Positivity comes through getting to know your Savior and that HE understands you. It comes through constantly choosing to see the good in every thing and every one. It comes through faith in God and His plan for you. And it comes through counting your blessings each and every day. "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

I know life is full of trials and questions ladies.

I can not answer every question & relieve every burden.

But their is some one who can and that is Jesus Christ.

He can get you through anything and He will answer any question you have.

I promise you that.

I love you ladies & the Lord loves you.

More Q & As coming soon! Feel free to email me or leave a comment with your questions!

Stay Positive my loves, Make a new mg friend, and remember:

KEEP CALM AND WAIT ON

xoxo

Carly