Its been hard trying to keep up this blog since I feel like I have almost graduated from this stage of my life. Waiting was the best thing I ever did because I was waiting for my husband. I grew so much and learned what true sacrifice was. Although, it wasn't always easy and I wish someone would have prepared me for it more. So I have created a list of the 10 things I wish someone would have told me before I started waiting for a missionary.
1. There is a Facebook page that will literally keep you sane.
Please join (if you aren't currently a member) Waiting For A Missionary. It's essential.
2. No one's relationship is perfect.
Often times I found myself envying other girls' relationships with their missionaries. Understand that there is always more than what meets the eye. No two people are the same and your missionary just won't be the same as someone else's.
3. It's okay to not to be okay.
Don't feel like you always need to be strong. Or that you aren't allowed to miss your missionary. Just because your roommates don't understand doesn't mean that you are pathetic or not allowed to mourn.
4. It's okay to move on.
Its okay if you one day you find yourself not really missing your missionary. Just because he is gone does not mean that you have to be miserable every day. It is okay to live your life and have a life that does not include him. It might seem foreign at first, but waiting is the perfect time to really get to know yourself and do the things you've always wanted. Go to China and teach, go on your own mission, start an internship, start your education, get involved in a club. SERIOUSLY JUST DO SOMETHING.
5. These two years aren't about you.
Or your missionary. Or your relationship. It is about the Lord. This is His work. It has always been about Him and it always will be about Him. I gained a true understanding of this when I served my own mission, but you don't have to serve full-time to know that missionary work really has nothing to do with your relationship with your missionary. That being said (sorry if it was kind of harsh).
6. Don't be offended.
Your missionary didn't send you a letter this week. He didn't send you a package for your birthday. It is okay. Sometimes as a missionary you really just don't have time because there is so much work to be done. Never be offended if your missionary doesn't live up to expectations you set for him. HE LOVES YOU. And he is becoming a better man by serving the Lord.
7. Don't be pressured.
I felt a lot of pressure to be the cutest, sweetest, most thoughtful, creative missionary girlfriend out there. This led to endless night of me just crying because I felt like my missionary would fee like I didn't love him. I learned that thoughtful, lipstick kissed letters meant a lot more than packages full of candy.
8. It is okay not to wait for a missionary.
I feel like there is a lot of pressure put on girls to wait. And if you don't wait suddenly you are the worlds biggest sinner. WRONG. SO WRONG. Let me remind every one that the only reason you should wait for a missionary is if you think he could potentially be your husband. If you find someone while your missionary is gone that is better suited for you, then please don't feel like a bad person dating. Dating is okay when under the guidance of the Lord.
9. Couple's who pray together stay together.
You are totally allowed to be a part of your missionary's work. Pray for the people that he is teaching. Add them on Facebook. Make friends with people on his mission. Seriously nothing bring greater happiness. Also ask your missionary what your can pray or fast for them. They will really appreciate it.
10. It is actually really hard waiting for a missionary.
I know that being a missionary girlfriend can almost look appealing, but its actually really hard. You are going to feel lonely. You are going to miss your missionary more than anything. It will really feel like they died and then suddenly come back to life for an hour once a week. But with that being said, it really is possible. Any one can do it if they really want to. Sure it takes a long time, but the wonderful thing about time is that it will always keep going. Two years really does go bye and you really can be reunited with your missionary.
Welp. That is all for now.
Feel free to check out my personal blog about my returned missionary, our baby, and our fury cat.
Also you can follow me on Instagram @carlykozz
Keep Calm and Wait On!