Monday, June 24, 2013

6 Months Down

I never thought I'd see the day. I can't even being to fathom that my sweet heart has been gone for half of a year. It feels like eternity since the day he left me and some how it still feels like yesterday I was holding his hand walking down the street. Its a weird life style (being a missionary girlfriend) and I know I talk about it a lot, but it really is the hardest thing I have ever done. I wish  I could say it gets easier with time, but it doesn't. Every day is just different, you have your good days and your bad days. And the farther a long you go in this journey, the less bad days you seem to have. Maybe its because I'm distracting myself, or just use to this lifestyle. But it never gets easier having my best friend so far away from me.

Let's take a journey through the last 6 Months:

December 19th-January 19th

The hardest month of my entire life, yet the most crafty..
I ate a lot of chocolate
Wrote Taylor a letter every single day he was in the MTC...I'm kind of clingy
Dedicated all of my time to making him crafts & packages
Spent Christmas crying wishing he was with me
Went on lots of adventures with my mom
Realized I had no friends
Cried myself to sleep every single night

January 19th-February 19th

Went back to school at BYU-Idaho
Spent the first weeks bed ridden
Was blessed with the most amazing roommates
Made a lot of new friends
Cried every time I got a letter
Got asked on a lot of dates...said no to them all
Made him a super romantic Valentines Day package :)

February 19th-March 19th

Sent Taylor a birthday package :)
Found out (on his birthday) that I got accepted to BYU! How perfect is that?
Went through some serious drama
Started my mission papers

March 19th-April 19th

Got a 3.65! Heck yeah!
Went to festival of colors.
Had a mental break down or two
Started packing my bags to come home
Became addicted to Sammy's milkshakes
Flew home

April 19th-May 19th:

Hated my life
Sat around and did nothing
Missed Taylor MORE THAN EVER
Started this blog!
Got a job!
Submitted my mission papers
Started hanging out with Taylor's family more

May 19th-June 19th

The hardest month by far
Its all been super confusing
Really developed my faith in God's plan for me
Got my call to Santiago Chile!
Sent Taylor a two packages!
Had our 18 month anniversary
Really started focusing on my mission

"We've got this if we want this. I want it. My biggest dream is to live in a big mansion with you in the Celestial Kingdom for all eternity." 

- Elder Taylor Stefan Kozak

Surviving every day with out my best friend is the hardest thing I have ever done. But every email, every letter, every package, every dream: it makes every thing worth it. I know that if this is God's will and I do everything in my power that Taylor and I will be able to be sealed together for time and all eternity. I love him so much and can't wait to see what the next 18 months bring.

Ladies, we can do this. When we compare this moment in our lives to the span of all eternity, it seems so small. And it is. What a small price to pay: Wait two years, while your future husband serves our Master Jesus Christ, and then you can be together forever. FOREVER. Let that word sink into your mind.

Forever: without ever ending

The Lord has great blessings in store for us ladies, He loves us and cares about our dreams and wants. Trust Him. It will all work out for the best, I promise :)

Keep calm and keep waiting,



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